Being the primary caregiver for a loved one in hospice or palliative care can, at times, weigh heavily on your own mental and physical health. The challenges of advocating for a loved one while also trying to take care of yourself can be overwhelming. However, to be the best advocate you can be, it is important to take time for yourself to recharge and regroup.
The Importance of Prioritizing Your Wellbeing
Taking time to focus on your own physical, mental, and spiritual well-being during such an emotional period can feel like a Herculean task. Making sure your loved one is as safe and comfortable as possible every day is exhausting, so your own needs often get pushed aside. You may feel like focusing on your own needs is selfish, or that the time you spend doing so pulls you away from your loved one for too long and you may miss something. This is a completely normal reaction to such a highly emotional and stressful situation.
However, it’s important to remember that you want to be the best possible version of yourself you can be when caring and advocating for your loved one. Think of other times in your life when, for example, you had a stressful day or week at work. You’re drained, your appetite is off, and your body aches. In those times you can’t be fully present with your partner, friends, or children. Yet if you take the time to eat a healthy meal, meditate, or go for a walk, it does wonders for your wellness and you can give more of yourself to the things that matter. The same is true for being a caregiver. Blocking out time to do something that helps you recharge allows you to do more for others.
Steps to Focus on Your Overall Wellness
There are many different things you can do to take care of your overall health and wellness that won’t also monopolize your time. Along with the suggestions below, one major thing that can relieve some of the load is simply asking for help. As a primary caregiver, it can be hard to allow others to take the wheel for a while, but it is one of the key things that will make the rest of our suggestions work. Ask a fellow family member or loved one to take over for a day while you run errands or exercise.
Also, one of the benefits of hospice care is that it focuses not only on the patient but the loved ones as well. This means services, like Heart to Heart, offer volunteers, social workers, and aides that can help with spiritual and emotional services, household chores, caregiver responsibilities, and more. Utilize these special services as much as you’re able so you can have time to refresh and recharge.
Here are some suggestions for how to take time for your health and wellness to be the best caregiver you can be. Make sure you make time for one or all of these things. Set a calendar reminder, an alarm, or anything else that helps you remember to take time for yourself:
Exercise & eat healthy – exercising regularly and eating a healthy, balanced diet can help alleviate stress and anxiety, and increase your energy to help make it through long days.
Hydration – It’s a small thing, but staying well hydrated is important for nearly all bodily functions. Water transports nutrients, helps digestion, and keeps our muscles and joints healthy. Keep a water bottle around as much as you can throughout the day.
Spend time outside – Staying inside by your loved one’s side is important. However, fresh air is also extremely important. Many studies have shown that being in nature helps regulate stress in your body and recharges you. Exercise outside when possible, and, if not, open some windows or doors to let fresh air in. It helps not only you but your loved one as well.
Practice deep breathing and meditation – Don’t forget about your mental health when caring for a loved one in palliative care. The emotional stress from being a primary caregiver can overwhelm you and affect your physical health. Carving out time (even 5 or 10 minutes) to do some deep breathing and meditation can regulate the chemicals in your brain and lower stress. It can refocus you and keep you grounded.
Sleep – Make sure you’re getting as much sleep as you’re able every day. Some days will be better than others, but it’s important not to skimp on sleep. Sleeping allows your body to recharge and reset. If you can get a nap during the day, do so.
Talk to someone – No one should have to go through the overwhelming task of caring for a loved one on their end-of-life journey alone. Along with everything else we list here, taking the time to talk with someone about your concerns, fears, and anxieties is extremely important. The more you bottle up your feelings the more unhealthy you’re going to feel. Talk with a support worker on the hospice team, a friend, or a partner. Ask for help. It is incredibly helpful for your wellness.
