October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, an incredibly important time to remind women to get tested and talk to their doctors about risks and early detection. This is especially important for women with a family history of breast cancer; although, it is estimated that 85% of breast cancer will occur in women with no family history. Breast cancer is the most common cancer in American women, except for skin cancers. Currently, the average risk of a woman in the United States developing invasive breast cancer in her life is about 13%. This means there is a 1 in 8 chance she will develop breast cancer.
These kinds of statistics are sobering. With hundreds of thousands of people affected by breast cancer, it’s important to know how to support those affected — especially those with a terminal diagnosis. Below is information on how to support breast cancer patients and their families, and important groups and services patients and families can access.
Why is support important for breast cancer patients?
The impact of an end stage breast cancer diagnosis on patients and their families is indescribable. Everything becomes focused on the patient’s well-being, and things like the legalities of what is left behind and what comes next can be overwhelming. There is a lot that needs to be looked after and taken care of, and that’s why having the support of friends and family is so important. It helps relieve the burden and allows families to focus on the patient.
Not only that, but some studies have also shown that social support may be linked to improved patient quality of life. Social support has been linked to a reduction in anxiety, stress, emotional distress and depression, fatigue, and the experience of pain. It can also help patients and their families cope with stress, uplift mood and self-image, and improve feelings of control. It’s important to give everyone time to focus on goodbyes, sharing a lifetime of stories, and keeping the patient as comfortable as possible during the end of life.
How to show support
It can be difficult to know when and how your support is needed when faced with a loved one’s end stage breast cancer diagnosis. Should you help with household chores? If you have the expertise, should you help with end-of-life decisions such as wills and home ownership? Should you just be a shoulder to cry on? The best way to know is just to ask. If you don’t want to bother the family, then below are some actions you can take to provide help.
Physical support
As we mentioned before, sometimes the best way to help is to take care of the everyday things that can be overwhelming for patients and their families. Offer to cook or deliver a meal to the family. Swing by their house to clean, take care of their pets, or do lawn work. Ask the family what kind of groceries they might need for the next week, and go shopping for them. These things may seem small, but for a patient with end stage breast cancer and their families, it can lift a heavy burden off their shoulders in a time of great need.
Mental support
If you’re able and up to it, a major benefit you can provide patients and families is being a trusting and loving shoulder and welcoming ear. The stress of a terminal diagnosis can weigh heavily on the minds of everyone involved. Providing the time and a safe space to listen and comfort can make a world of difference. Sometimes all someone needs is the chance to unload the grief, fear, anger, and denial they’re feeling. It can improve symptoms of depression, elevate their mood, and provide comfort in a remarkably difficult time.
Support groups and services
If you have a loved one who has been diagnosed with end stage breast cancer, and you’re looking for support it can be hard to know where to look. Thankfully there are many support groups and services available (many for free) to help you get through the day or process your feelings. Look on local community boards and websites for breast cancer support groups. Many are geared specifically toward families. Consult resources such as the American Cancer Society. They have many lists of in-person and online support groups and organizations that can help. The Susan G. Komen Foundation also has great resources that can help you and your loved one process such a difficult time.
Heart to Heart Hospice can also help. Hospice programs strive to give a sense of control to people at the end stage of a terminal illness, providing treatments to improve quality of life and ease pain and symptoms. We provide support services to patients and their families, tailoring care to a person’s needs and preferences so a person can die as comfortably and with as much dignity as possible. Our hospice social workers, specifically, can assist with counseling, education, ways to help grant final wishes, advanced care planning, and also resource identification including community resources such as Meals on Wheels and financial resources such as Medicaid funded programs.
This can be a very difficult time and may involve many challenges—for patients, their families, and their communities. If you want to help just remember that every little bit helps. It’s about showing up. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. There are always people willing to be there for you.
