An important aspect of end-of-life care that is often overlooked is what to do once hospice care is over. Once a patient has completed their journey, what happens next?
At Heart to Heart, our hospice care team can help with the next important aspect of the process: funeral planning. Grief can be overwhelming when a loved one passes, so it can be especially challenging when the question is asked: What are the funeral plans?
Knowing the patient’s wishes ahead of time can save a lot of stress. Ideally, caregivers and patients can work together on pre-planning and making arrangements so their wishes can be carried out. Sometimes, however, a patient’s condition worsens quickly, and arrangements cannot be made in advance. In these cases, caregivers and families are left to make decisions about the funeral and memorial and how to handle any financial and legal affairs.
Below, we’ll discuss what caregivers and the patients themselves can do before death to make sure the funeral or memorial wishes and any legal or financial issues can be completed easily. We will also discuss what you can do if there was no pre-planning and you’re on an expedited timeline.
What funeral planning can be done in advance?
Overall, it usually takes one to two weeks to plan a funeral. However, if things are organized beforehand, it can be a much shorter process. When plans are made ahead of time, families and the patient can make thoughtful decisions regarding the funeral or memorial, as well as the settlement of legal and financial affairs. Many small steps go into post-death planning, so beginning the process early will help eliminate some stress for family and caregivers while they’re also processing grief.
Creating an Estate Plan
One of the first, and arguably most important, things caregivers and patients can do is develop an Estate Plan. This can be in the form of a trust or a will that lays out exactly what happens with finances, property, and any other important items after the patient passes.
It’s important to work with a lawyer, if possible, to make sure everything is in writing. This will help prevent conflicts that could arise after the patient’s death. Be sure to collect all important documents before speaking with a lawyer. The discussion of finances can be a source of contention for families, so having an estate plan solidified will make the process much smoother and help families avoid discord.
Handling the remains
Another important aspect of funeral planning is one of the most basic: what to do with the remains after passing? The two most traditional options are burial or cremation. Each of these options comes with its own list of choices that will need to be discussed, but one choice that comes with both is who will be handling the remains. Once the venue is chosen, speaking with that location’s funeral director will help solidify further aspects of the plan. This includes who to call once a loved one has passed and how they will be transported to the desired location.
- For a burial, there is a choice of casket, burial site, grave marker, what clothes the deceased will be buried in, and more.
- For cremation, there are options for the type of urn, transportation to a family mausoleum or home, and more.
Funeral directors will be able to lead you through every option and help the patient or caregiver choose which is most appropriate.
If a patient wants to take a less traditional route, there are options for this as well. Patients can choose to have their bodies donated to science, a water burial, a green burial with a tree or mushrooms, and more. Make sure to do proper research and create a plan so everything is carried out accordingly.
Planning the funeral or memorial service
Once you’ve made a plan for remains, another point to discuss is whether the patient wants a funeral or a memorial service. There is a wide range of choices for both options, so if the time allows, spreading the conversation out over a few days could be helpful. The following questions can help guide the conversation and ensure the patient’s wishes are expressed:
- Do they want a more traditional wake and religious funeral service?
- Is any aspect of that plan reserved for privacy with just family and close friends?
- Should everything (memorial and graveside services, for example) be public?
- Do the ceremonies or remembrances happen at home or in a funeral home?
There are also options for graveside services, scattering of ashes at a beloved park or location, or a simple party at a loved one’s home.
You can also discuss details of the service, including the music, any important readings, who should be invited, etc. You can even discuss things like what food should be served or pictures to be displayed.
As we said, there are many options to consider, but not all of them need to be pinned down. You can keep it to major pieces depending on the patient’s condition, but including the patient in the discussion can help them feel more at ease that their wishes are being heard and will be honored. It is about celebrating their lives in the way they would prefer.
Last-minute funeral planning
There is not always time to plan for a funeral in advance, even when it comes to patients on hospice care. At times, a patient’s condition can worsen sooner than expected, and they can pass before planning can even begin. In this situation, choices have to be made somewhat quickly and at the discretion of the family or caregiver.
Thankfully, many funeral homes offer emergency funeral services coordinated by rapid response funeral coordinators within a few hours or a few days after the patient has passed. They can expedite transportation, services, floral delivery, and more to make sure services are meaningful and personalized.
Financial assistance is also available for these instances. You can consult the Department of Veterans Affairs, which offers up to $2,000 toward burial expenses, as well as your state’s Department of Health, which can provide some assistance. Some charities and non-profits can also assist with burial experiences.
It is also important to speak with a lawyer if possible to determine your options for any financial or legal affairs that need to be taken care of if a loved one passes unexpectedly. Every state has different policies for what happens to a decedent’s estate when they pass without a will or trust. Speaking with an expert will help you make sure everything is settled without too many issues.
Funeral Planning Checklist
Whether you are planning in advance or planning on a shortened timeline, it can be helpful to have a comprehensive checklist to follow. This will assure caregivers and families that they haven’t missed anything and can instead be free to grieve appropriately. Planning a funeral is a lot of responsibility, so having a systematic way to go about it can be extremely helpful. While there are many different options depending on the type of service and how remains are handled, below is a basic list that can cover all options.
- Contact the decedent’s legal representative for funeral/memorial plans.
- If no plans are in place, choose the type of disposition of the remains (burial, cremation, donation, etc.)
- Arrange for transportation of the decedent to the funeral home or service chosen.
- Choose the type of service or gathering (visitation, funeral service, graveside service, memorial, etc.)
- Decide on personal elements for the event (invitations, flowers, readings, pallbearers, food service, grave marker, videos, etc.)
- Choose a final resting place.
- Decide how to pay for services – these can be prepaid, paid with a trust, insurance reimbursement, etc.
- If planning in advance, choose a way to record final wishes (with a lawyer, funeral provider, verbally with family, record a video or voice memo)
How Heart to Heart Hospice can help
Hospice often involves weeks or months of focused caregiving for a dying loved one. Death is the expected end, but it’s never easy, no matter how prepared you are. Heart to Heart Hospice support includes grief and bereavement care for family and loved ones for up to 13 months after death.
